Several for your reading pleasure!!!

Thought we would post a few for you to chew on. Be sure to tell your friends to check us out at www.ask3guys.com!

Dear Ask 3 Guys:

Here’s the Lo-Down…

14, girl, skinny, go to an all girl's high school, friends who've lost their virginity already. It's not right. Maybe I'm not the girl that's just going to give it all up, but I don't get noticed by who I want to... what I'm saying is, guys are into me, but it's not there with them. I don't want anything shallow.

How do I play the game?

--Solitaire…

Dear solitaire:

Ronnie’s Take:

Have fun, and fake it to you make it. The right choice isn't always the easiest choice. Stick by your morals, and your time will come when you are proud to make the choice on your terms. No need to rush!

--Ronnie

Eddie’s Take:

Whatever you do, don’t sacrifice your beliefs to get noticed or fit in. You still have plenty of time to figure things out. At your age, you should be focused on two things… (1) School (sorry to sound parentish), and (2) Discovering who you are. Spend plenty of time on the latter. Teens often find themselves trying so hard to fit in, which causes them to fabricate an identity to match what is expected. It is so important to discover who you are, and focus on letting people see that. Walk with confidence, focus on having fun, and you will see that people will be attracted to you for the right reasons.

--Eddie

Dear Ask 3 Guys:

I have been chatting with this guy online since last April, and he even came to Texas where I live to visit. He is in the military, so he does not get a lot of time off, but we agreed to wait to see each other. While he was here last to see me, he did not spend the time with me that he originally told me he would. I did let him know I was disappointed and very confused. That is when he said he would be back now in December to spend more time with me. Just last week he now is telling me it will not be until Feb 2010 now. My friends and family think he is using me and I should start dating other guys, but I like him a lot and I want to believe him. Should I date other people and still keep chatting with him online???

--IM

Dear IM:

Victor’s Take:

I think if you choose to date other people, that is absolutely ok - but, you should be 100% honest with him. Being in the military is not optional for him, and obviously he cannot provide you the attention you would like. If he chats with you all the time, yet sends mixed signals when he comes home (not spending as much time with you as you would like, etc.), and this situation is unacceptable to you (judging by your question, it is) then I think you should move on.

I wish you well...

--Vic

Eddie’s Take:

I think that he enjoys chatting with you, because there is not much to do where he is stationed. When someone stationed overseas can connect with someone, it helps them to escape from where they are. This is no different from a person in jail sending you letters. However, when the guy gets to visit, he has many more options to do whatever he wants. So, it appears that you have taken the back seat when he is in town. I think he does not want to settle down, but he enjoys chatting with you. If you can keep that going, fine. But, I would not wait for him. Be open and honest with him, and everything will fall into place.

--Eddie

Dear Ask 3 Guys:

I just found out this past weekend that my son has a crush on a little girl in his class. My son is 6 and the girl is 7 years old. I was told by the girl's parents that my son writes their daughter love notes at least once a day and passes them to her during class. My husband, I and her parents, their family and their friends all think that it is so cute! It's my son's 2nd little crush...1st one was in preK. Well, I told my mother what I had been told about her grandson's "Love Life" and she took it SERIOUSLY...she said that the family could get him for stalking if the notes become unwanted, the teacher could give him detention for passing notes during class, and she also passed a comment that it may get "out of hand"....

Like I said, my son is 6 years old. He knows NOTHING about sex, relationship, nor love for that matter. The only love he really understands is the love he feels for me, his dad, brother, grandparents and his dog. Why do you think my mother took this so seriously? It's YOUNG LOVE...it's INNOCENT LOVE. I just don't understand her reasoning for saying such things. I did ask her why she thought that way and she didn't respond except by rolling her eyes.

Could ya'll please give me your opinions on this subject and try to explain where you think my mother is coming from? I just can't figure her out. Thank you so much!

Love,

Lover Boy's Mommy J

Dear LBM:

Victor’s Take:

The easy answer to this question is that I think your mother is overprotective. Think back to when you were being raised by her? How did she treat you? I'm guessing that she was overprotective of you as well. From a partial comical standpoint, it sounds like your mother is watching too much Oprah Winfrey and Dr. Phil. I'm all for getting your mother and your mother-in-law's input on the raising of your child, but there needs to be a time and a place where you politely agree to disagree and move on.

Ultimately, you both have your child's best interests at heart. That is what matters. If the only thing you have to worry about in the raising of your son is puppy love, consider yourself ridiculously lucky. I'm guessing it won't be. I wish you the best of luck going forward.

--Vic

Ronnie’s Take:

This is minor and, at that age, cute. I don't know the laws pertaining to it at that age, so I wouldn't advise but it sure seems innocent and not worthy of wasting time with the grandma. Just pacify her and move on. No need to be alarmed… this is perfectly natural.

--Ronnie

Dear Ask 3 Guys:

I have a problem. I have liked one of my brother's friends for a really long time. In the past, he has said that he can't date me because he is afraid it will affect his friendship with my brother if it doesn't work out, and that he doesn't have the time for a relationship right now. This was fine with me, because I was fine with just being friends. Ok, so they have another friend that they think I should date. He is really funny and a really great guy and I do like him, but I didn't think it would be fair to him for me to date him when I know that I still have feelings for the first guy. Here comes the confusing part-- a couple weeks ago, my brother and his wife had a party at their house. And, we had a few drinks, but Iwas not so drunk that we didn't know what we were doing. So me and the first friend ended up sleeping together (not having sex just a little fooling around) it was his idea *not mine*, and it came out of nowhere. I think that he was afraid that I was going to sleep with the other guy, which isn't something that I would do. Anyways despite what happened, he has not changed his mind about
not wanting a relationship. And he has said that he knows we can't be friends with benefits, because I want more and it wouldn't be fair to me. So when they had another party yesterday, he told my sister-in-law a couple days
before that he wanted to mess around again, which again was fine with me because I like the guy and want to be with him. Well the next day my she told me that their other friend was asking what was up between me and the first guy and she explained that I do like him and that it's hard for me because I have liked him for so long and that I know he is a good guy and I don't want to hurt him.


So my problem is this-- I'm having a hard time deciding between the two of
them. I don't know if I'm wasting my time thinking that he will one day
decide that he wants more, and if he doesn't I think I have pretty much blown
my chance with a good guy by picking the other one over him-- not once, but
twice. I would appreciate any advice you can give me thank you.

--Complicated

Dear Complicated:

Victor’s Take:

Here is my question... what do YOU want? If you just want a friend with benefits type situation, with no relationship or strings attached - keep fooling around with the first guy. Maybe it will turn in to something, but there is just no way of predicting that. Guy #1 sounds like he has been honest with you - which is great - although, he is fooling around with your feelings - which he probably doesn't even realize he is doing. I'm guessing that you are 18 or 19, he - 23 or 24. At that age, you are not mature enough to separate sex from emotion. Most people are incapable of it in their lifetimes, so it is not just an age thing.

The bottom line is this - you WANT a relationship. I can tell by your question. The first guy wants no part of a relationship. Launch Guy #1 and move to Guy #2. If Guy#2 turns out to be no good, maybe Guy#1 seeing you with another man may cause him to act.

Good luck to you...

--Vic

Ronnie’s Take:

I would go to your brother first. Explain everything to him and get his opinion. The friend could just be using that as an excuse.

If you don't get any results, then you need to do the take away move. Tell the friend there is no future, so you are ending the fooling around stuff and moving on. If he really likes you he will come running. If not, then you need to move on any way.

Give the other guy a chance. People will have many relationships that end in break-ups; it's not the end of the world. Any chance, even if limited for him, beats no chance.

--Ronnie

Eddie’s Take:

I think I followed you. Here’s the skinny--- don’t allow guys to play games with you. If you continually make yourself available to guy #1 (at his convenience), then he will continue to use you.

The big problem is that you feel like you have to choose between one of those guys. There is no reason to have a contingency plan when it comes to dating. “If guy #1 is out, then there is always guy #2, but if I mess things up with guy#2, I may lose guy#1"—I’m sure it goes something like that.

Live your life. Don’t give into anyone’s bullshit. Make them chase you.

--Eddie

The Good Guy or the Bad Guy?

Dear Ask 3 Guys,

I've been seeing this guy exclusively for 3 1/2 months. In the beginning, things were so intense... the interest that we had in one another was unreal. Hour long talks... date after date... lots of laughs and good times. Our compatibility level is unbelievable. He's a wonderful man in ever way. I no longer see him as a challenge. I know 100% that he's not going anywhere. Although I love the security, I feel like I'm less attracted to him because he makes himself so available to me. I'm recently divorced. I was married to a man who neglected me in every way (complete opposite of my current boyfriend). I'm worried that because I became so use to the neglectful way of life that I lived, that it will interfere with my new relationship. I am so thankful to have this man in my life. I know we could have a wonderful life together. However, there are days when I feel so in love with him, but others when I question the feelings that I have. I've been feeling this way for the past month. I'm just not sure how it's possible for me to go from one extreme to the next, then back... How do I keep this thing alive???

--Baffled Babe
*********************

Dear Baffled:

Victor's Take:

"I no longer see him as a challenge."

Why?

"I feel like I'm less attracted to him because he makes himself so available to me."

Why?

"I was married to a man who neglected me in every way (complete opposite of my current boyfriend). I'm worried that because I became so use to the neglectful way of life that I lived, that it will interfere with my new relationship."

You think???? It is...

Look, you have unresolved issues from your abusive relationship. I'll go a step further and speculate that your parents probably had a strained relationship at best, and an abusive one at most. You need counseling. It seems like you have tried to deal with this / rectify this in your head - which I applaud you for. But, it also seems like you cannot do it on your own. That's ok - most people cannot. I would schedule an appointment with a counselor - psychologist, psychiatrist, etc as soon as possible. You don't want to let the best thing that has happened to you (from a relationship standpoint) walk out the door.

Good luck!

--Vic
***************

Eddie's Take:

Okay, here we go. This is a perfect example of how screwed up we are. We want what we can't have, and we don't want what we have.

Let's paint a little picture---

Two women are talking about men over lunch. The single woman is talking about all the losers that she has dated, and she goes on and on about Mr. Right. I believe it goes something like this...

He is good-looking, dresses nice, he has good teeth and hair, he has a great job, he treats me like a princess, he goes out of his way for me, he talks and listens to me, he is great in bed, he is not abusive, he isn't on drugs or alcohol, etc...

Did I miss anything? If I did, I'm sure you can fill in the blanks.

So, how come when a guy has all of those boxes checked off, women get tired of him? What the hell is up with that?

In many cases, women are drawn to a certain type of man. That's why you see women go back to the same guy that beat the shit out of them.

Women love a challenge. You have no idea what it feels like for a guy to be willing to give up everything for the right woman. Then, she gets tired of him because he is too nice. What a crock of shit!

Believe me... I can relate. As a retired asshole, I know that women love the chase. I think you guys always feel like you have to fix a guy, so a guy with issues will always be a project for you to work on. Or, you think you can be the one to get the player to fall in love.

The bottom line is that you have to close your eyes, and picture life 5 years from now... then 10... then 15... and so on. Who the hell do you want to be sitting in rocking chairs next to on the front porch in 30 years?

So, my advice is that you take it for what it is. If this guy is into you, then be happy. Apparently, he thinks you are special. If his kindness starts wearing off, then you know it was an act. If not, then consider yourself lucky to be with a great guy.

For all the women out there, please be happy when you get the type of guy that you have always dreamed of having. And, accept him for who he is.

Okay... I am stepping down from my soapbox.

Regardless of the decision you make, I wish you the best of luck.

--Eddie
****************

Is it Over or Not?

Dear A3G,

I'm going to try and start at the beginning. First of all, I started dating this wonderful guy in January. I'm 19, he's now 24. We met through a mutual friend and basically hit it off from there. Everything was going good until about a few days before Valentine's day, when he broke up with me, saying that it just wasn't working. (I later found out the break up was due to his not taking his anxiety meds), needless to say, we were back together by the day after Valentines. After that, everything had gone great, I was basically staying at his house every night, and by May I moved in with him. We had our little problems, mostly me wanting sex more than he did, but we figured his libido was whacked b/c of his meds, so he switched to a new one, and things were all good for a while.

Then he got laid off from his job. This is where I'd say all hell broke loose. I had to make the decision to stay in state, or to move with him out of state where he had a job. We had a huge fight over it, and there were several times where he told me that he wasn't going to allow me to move with him. I, of course, took offense to him trying to decide what was best for me, and I eventually convinced him to let me go with him.

So, we moved. He, at this point, was taking care of all the finances, which was really stressing to me. I wanted to help as much as I could, but I did not have a job (I was in college and had a scholarship to cover my expenses), but I planned to get one when we finished moving. I contributed as much as I could out of my meager bank account, and with the help of his mom, we moved and got an apartment.

Everything for the most part was fine, with the exception of me. I was in a huge city(previously from a very small town) and was quite freaked out by the size of the city and the large amount of traffic. It got to where I applied to jobs online and worked on all my school work, and stayed home all day. I eventually got a job that I was at for a few weeks before I just couldn't take it anymore. By this time, he was frustrated by me not getting out of the apartment, and I'm sure he felt claustrophobic by the attention I was giving him. I didn't have friends, family, or really anyone to turn to to get out, and as a consequence he saw me as being clingy.
So, about a month ago, we broke up. I had to stay there for a couple of weeks before I could move back home, and really nothing changed while I was there except the title of our relationship.

The reason he cited for breaking up with me was that he needed time to be alone, that he was "burnt out" on sex, relationships, etc. (he had previously gotten out of a 2 year relationship and had bounced from one girl to another before meeting me) The question I have is, do we have a chance in the future? Nothing has changed really in our relationship, except for the title and the distance. He tells me he loves me everyday, we talk constantly online, and we call each other when we can.

For the most part, it still feels like I'm in a relationship with him, but I am free to find another guy if I want. I'm still hurting from the break up, but I don't see him completely ending us either. He's even told me that he'll make an exception to his rule (never date exes) for me if we find we want to give it another try. Personally, I confused by the whole situation. What do you think?

--Dazed and Confused
****************************

Dear D & C,

Ronnie's Take:

10 months, and it seems the relationship has been all over the map. Relationships only get tougher as time goes on. Little things become big things. The stress of marriage, children, finances... all escalate as the relationship goes along.

Smoke is usually a sign of fire, and in 10 months there has been much smoke. I don't see potential for a healthy relationship here. Move on and cut the friendship tie until you can break loose mentally.

And, always remember the 80/20 rule.

--Ronnie
**************

Victor's Take:

I think you had a ton of obstacles to overcome before you moved in together, which made the situation five times worse. It's not your job to fix him, doctor him, make him take his meds - that's his job. Your job is to finish school, build a career, and love the most important person in your life - YOURSELF!

I'd make it a rule that no one under the age of 25 is allowed to move in together, no one under the age of 28 is allowed to get married, but THEY won't let me. Look, you are 19 years old. Focus on yourself, school, and career. People come and go out of your life and the ones that stay, stay for a reason. My suggestion is you let this man go. Tell him you love him and that you wish him nothing but the best, then move on. One day, your paths may cross again and he may be a little more stable and you will be a little bit more mature and established. But, don't depend on it. Live your life, love yourself first, and move on. You will look back on this one day and know you made the right decision.

Good luck,

--V
**********

Eddie's Take:

At this point in your life, you really need to focus on what is best for you. If this is "the guy" for you, then your paths will cross many more times in the future.

I am married to a girl that I dated in high school; however, it took 10 years after high school for the timing to be right for us. We actually dated a few times after high school, but the books of our lives where just not on the same page.

We just happened to run into each other about 8 years ago (at Shoe Carnival, lol), and we have been together ever since. Sometimes you have to experience life before you can realize how special someone is.

Just don't lose focus on school. No matter where you end up in life, education will be advantageous to your future.

Have respect for yourself, have respect for him, but, most importantly, focus on the person you see in the mirror.

--Eddie
*************

Guy # 1, or Guy # 2?

Dear Ask 3 Guys,

What is a girl to do? This is the problem-- I have been seeing this man for about 2 months now, and I really do like him very much, but he is not very aggressive-- meaning he just thinks I know what is going on inside of him. Example... the other night, I went to a friend's house, and he just assumed I was coming over, but the thing is he never invited me, so I didn't go over. I met this new man a few days later, and I did tell this new man that I was still seeing the other man-- I was very much up front, but the other guy has no clue. So my question to you is should I tell the other guy about this new guy? I like them both very much. I don't want to deceive anyone, but this man has never asked me If I was dating anyone else. Just trying to leave my options open. I am a very mature woman, and I don't want to hurt anyone. What should I do?

--Two for Tuesday
************************

Dear T4T,

Ronnie's Take:

It really comes down to a personal decision. I personally see no future with a person that doesn't have good communication skills. It also seems he lacks in passion(life passion, not sexual) some. They seem to go hand and hand.
I wouldn't volunteer the info, but I wouldn't lie if questioned. Men and woman break up and move on rather often these days. It's not the end of the world either way.

--Ronnie
**************

Victor's Take:


I am a big fan of honesty to a fault. I get myself in trouble for being too honest, but I'm ok with that type of trouble. I have lost out on some "opportunities" in my life for being too honest. That's just the way I live, I'm not changing.

I think you need to do what you think is best. Clearly, this is troubling you, so telling the truth might be best. I also think that there are many women and men that might withhold all the facts / be somewhat coy about the EXACT truth. It has happen to me, on two separate occasions. One time, I started to open my heart to someone I was very close to (not something I do very easily), all the time telling ALL the truth. This women was dating at least two other guys at the same time over the period of a few weeks to months, that I knew nothing about. When it all came into light (which I had to figure out, still not knowing the truth), I didn't feel to good about it.
On another occasion, I again started to fall for someone, again being honest about all the ongoing things in my life. Over a two month period, this person was having a long distance relationship - even visiting once or twice this person in another state. Again, I didn't feel good about it.

Did either of these people intentionally hurt me, or outright lie to me? NO.
Did they withhold the truth and place yet another little ding in my heart - absolutely. I was open and honest on my hand, I just naturally expected the same in return. My mistake, it won't happen again...

I hope this gives you some insight into the direction you need to take.

I wish you all the best.

--Victor
****************

--Eddie's Take:

This is something that frustrates me so much. People always keep secrets, and guy # 1 will always be the last one to know what is going on. For God's sake... tell the guy what is going on. You can never expect a relationship to work if it is being supported by a dishonest foundation. You have to live with the choices that you make. Guy 1 or guy 2... it doesn't matter. All that matters is that you take ownership and stop dragging people along.

--Eddie
******************

I have custody.... now what?

First of all, we have to give a shout out to the Black and Gold. The New Orleans Saints did it. After 43 years, the finally made it to the Superbowl--- then, they won it! This is a huge accomplishment for the organization, as well as our city. The Saints have been under a black cloud forever, and they have proven that through determination, commitment, and perserverance, anything is possible. Join us in applauding this amazing feat, and we are all looking for to next season.

Dear Ask 3 Guys,


I have recently found myself with custody of a 14 year old boy. I have a 15 year old girl and a 14 year old girl already. I have NO idea how to entertain this kid. Other than violent video games and wrestling with his friends - how do I get a 14 year old boy who has had absolutely no guidance up until this point, to WANT guidance?

--Rated C (for confused)
****************************

Dear Rated C,

Ronnie's Take:

First, you must show interest in his actions. Don't make it a push/pull to start. Come out the gate on his side. Communicate-- because, even 14yr old boys have different likes. You left out sports. Sports would be the best avenue. The local playground would be a good place to start.

The main thing is include him in the decisions of the family. What's for dinner? What's the weekend activities? Communicate -- communicate-- communicate!

--Ronnie
**************

Victor's Take:

This is a really good question that I don't have a direct answer to. I think Ronnie and Eddie are going to be the best ones to answer this question, as one has a teenage boy, the other - one close to teenage years.

When I was a teenager, my parents made me get a part time job and sent me to a good school with good role models and solid discipline. I don't know if you have the ability to do that or not, I hope so. The job and the school put discipline in my life and gave me structure - something to keep me busy.

If I could have changed anything about my childhood, I would have wanted more affection - to be hugged more, kissed more, told "I love you" by my parents. I could count the number of times that those three things happened to me in my life on both hands - easily. Show affection - show him that you truly do care about him and his well being, and I have a feeling he might be a little more open-minded about guidance.

Good luck to you...

--Victor
************

Eddie's Take:

It's not often that I use the phrase 'paradigm shift' to describe a situation, but your dilemma is just that. All of the sudden, you have custody of a 14-year old boy; however, your experience thus far has been parenting daughters. Yes, men are from Mars, and women or from Venus... but teenage boys are from an entirely different universe.

To start, I will base some comments on assumptions I have, since you did not give insight as to how his behavior is. I can only assume, that like most teenage boys, you have experienced problems in that arena. If not, good for you.

First, it is imperative that you set clear expectations for your household. This means that he has to understand what he is required to do, as well as the consequences for not adhering to your guidelines. For instance, playing violent video games may not be something you approve of, so you have to inform him of your stance regarding material that may be inappropriate for him. Video games have a rating (just like movies), and, as a parent, you need to review the back of the games to see if you approve of the content. My 12-year old often asks for new games, but we are strict when it comes to games that are rated M (mature). The last game he wanted actually had a disclaimer that it contained drug references, nudity, profanity, and violence. Of course, to purchase these games, you have to be at least 18.

If none of that is an issue for you, the first thing you need to do is develop an open line of communication with him. Let him know that you are interested in his life, which will open up the door for him to communicate with you. I'm not sure of his history, but communication is always a great approach to dealing with anyone.

As far as activities, there are not too many teenage boys that aren't into what he is doing. He is at the age where he is content playing with friends, or alienating himself to his room. There's really nothing you can do about that.

If he likes wrestling, take him to see it when it comes to town. This will show him that he can be rewarded with things that he likes. Just be sure to let him know that rewards like that are earned as a result of good behavior.

The most important thing for a young man to learn is that nothing in life is free. He has to understand that he has to work and follow the rules, because that's how it is in life.

If you care to elaborate more on your situation, I would be happy to offer more assistance.

Good Luck!

--Eddie
*******************

WHO DAT?

THE SAINTS WILL BE MAKING HISTORY TONIGHT, SO PUT ON YOUR BLACK AND GOLD FOR THE BIG GAME.

OUR CITY DESERVES IT, AND THE TEAM HAS PLAYED GREAT ALL YEAR.


WHO DAT?

GOOD LUCK BOYS!

ASK 3 GUYS

He's with the boss' daughter, but he wants me!

Dear Ask 3 Guys,

This is a long story, so bear with me fellas. I went to one of my friends work place about three weeks ago. I noticed a fairly attractive guy there so I asked her about him. She told me he was dating the boss' daughter, and had been for eight years. (This boy is only nineteen, btw.) I didn't bother asking anymore questions, I just let it go. My friend, against my wishes, told John* I thought he was cute. He got my number and called me that night on his way home from work. He explained to me that he wanted to get to take things slow & get to know me. This isn't something I normally do so I told him up front that I wasn't a blow up doll he could use whenever he wanted. He told me he wasn't looking for sex, he really wanted to get to know me. So, I gave him a chance. For about two weeks we spent a lot of time just talking. He explained to me that him & his girlfriend had been together since he was eleven. She was his first love, but they have had a rocky relationship. Over the past two years she has cheated on him five times. Please take into consideration that he works for her family & they do have a child together. After about three weeks, he finally kissed me. Around a week after that, things got sexual. We have been talking for over two months. He comes to see me every night. His girlfriend knows what is going on. He's told her that he wants to break up. (I have heard it with my own ears.) But, still nothing has happened. She won't leave, & he's not going to leave the house he pays for. I'm trying to be patient, but it seems to me like I'm wasting my time. I don't do well with sharing, any advice boys?

--Caught between Business and Pleasure
**********************************************

Dear B & P,

Ronnie's Take:

I've heard the "she won't leave" story on many occasions. It's really quite common. It never ends good. Tell him he knows where to find you when he clears up his situation. He might be a great guy. He might really love you. He'll find a way to solve this to be with you. I promise if he really wants you, he will try harder if he doesn't have you any more, versus if he is still has you waiting for him.

--Ronnie
******************

Victor's Take:

You ARE wasting your time.

She cheated on him FIVE times, and he still hasn't left her? I don't care if he works for her Dad, I don't care if they have 5 children together, do self respect and dignity not have a place in this world?

The dude has no self respect and no self esteem. He needed an advocate - someone to make him feel better about himself so that he can endure the daily grind at work and at home that is his miserable life. You are now his advocate. How's that working for you?

He is not moving out, he is not leaving his wife, and he is not quitting his job - no matter how nice and good you are to him, no matter how good you lay him.

You are wasting your time. Cut the cord and move on.

--Vic
************

Eddie's Take:

You are in a no-win situation until he grows the balls to kick her out. Apparently, he is worried about jeopardizing his job if he ends it. If he chooses to remain miserable to keep his job, then that is his dilemma. Do not allow him to continue getting the best of both worlds. If you keep seeing him, he will think that you are okay with that, and he will never take action.

Just draw a line in the sand, and let him know that you refuse to be on the back burner. I am sure that it will be difficult with him, but you do not deserve to be second to someone that he is not even in love with. If he is worried about his job, then he needs to starting pursuing other career options.

The bottom line is that you just have to let him figure this out on his own. If he misses you, he will be more likely to stop procrastinating. Love is powerful, so just sit back and see what happens.

--Eddie
*************