Do Guys Ever Regret Anything?

Dear Ask 3 Guys,

I feel devastaded. I ended my relationship with a guy whom I was close to marrying, but didn't, because at the end, it turned out he was "not prepared", and he would just pick fights, so I would leave him. His school and his music were/are, the most important things to him. So anyhow, I left him 9 months ago. Long time, huh? So, I just found out today that he left law school and moved to a different city to pursue music. HE WOULD HAVE NEVER IN ONE MILLION YEARS DONE THAT FOR ME!!

I do not know how I feel right now. His school was the most important thing, and now he's moving to a different place to pursue music? He would not even move a finger for me!!!

So, please give me a logical explanation!! And, while you are at it, please tell me why guys are so careless!!

Why can you guys have a woman that cares about you and loves you with all that she has, and if the "time" isn't right, you just don't appreciate her!

And, how can you let someone that loves you with all she has just walk out of your life?

DOES THE WORD REGRET EVEN EXIST TO GUYS!!!!!!?????????????????

--One Hit Wonder
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Dear One Hit Wonder,

Victor's Take:

Wow... where do I start.

1) Sometimes love isn't enough.
2) Just because a guy doesn't love you back doesn't make him careless or not regretful.

You said that "his school and that his music where the most important thing to him", but yet, you get all shocked when he moves away to pursue his passion. Why?

Maybe he did you a favor. It seems like you have all of the unconditional (I would disagree) love to give. He was not able to accept it, for whatever reason, so now you have an opportunity to give it to someone who will appreciate it.

Bottom line, you are going to grow up and mature emotionally over the next five to ten years, and you will look back on this event not like a mountain, but a speed bump of life.

Do yourself the ultimate favor: LOVE YOURSELF FIRST, then move forward with your life...

Good luck to you.

--Vic
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Ronnie's Take:

You should need no answer. Move on! It's been 9 months. Sometimes people just aren't in love, or have the passion for the same things in life. You really have to release this. 9 months later-- move on. Don't take it personal, it's usually not.

--Ronnie
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Eddie's Take:

Yes-- guys do have regret; however, they do a great job of keeping their emotions bottled up. There is no magic spell that you can cast upon someone to make them fall in love with you. The bottom line is that he chose not to be with you. I'm not sure of any easier way to put it.

Instead of insisting that he did not appreciate you, take time to determine the root cause(s) that aided in driving you two apart. If music was his love, did you support it, or did you constantly complain that you were taking the back seat to it? Sometimes, you can drive someone away by not supporting their passions.

A while back, we had a similar question from someone that was dating an author. She was tired of his traveling, and she felt like she was no longer a priority in her life. The good news is that she understood that the success brought by his book's popularity would require him to travel. In the end, she made sacrafices to make it work, and now she's happy.

When it comes to the things that a man wants to do, the best thing to do is support them. My wife is not a fan of golf at all, but, since she knows I enjoy playing, she buys me golf accessories every holiday.

It sounds like this guy is out of life now, so I would focus on finding out who you are. Find happiness within yourself, and learn to understand that we cannot make someone love us.

--Eddie
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