Where Did I Get Sideways?

Dear Ask 3 Guys,

Well I think I done fucked up. So here is the deal. I respond to post on your page all the time under a different name. Little Native. But she is gone, old page, bad Karma.

So I met this man, on line.. yeah ok what ever. It was weird because I thought my profile was unsearchable, and I had not used in in months... Turns out he knows my son, through the police academy. My son gave him two thumbs up, keep in mind he hates everyone. So over the course of several days we talk, e-mail...you know the drill, we meet for coffee late one night, then lunch a few days later.

I have certain things I like in men. Very specific things. He was more than qualified. I called our dates big waves and lightening. Just a chemistry I have never felt before. We had great fun together. And he knew that the past year I had been recovering from a very unexpected break up. The timing for me was good, and for him as well. So yup I slept with him.... spent the weekend with him... And it was amazing....

He works funky hours, I seen him this past Thursday, more of that good stuff... He said he would talk to me on Friday..No call, I had the icy feeling in my chest, I sent him an email and said maybe I made an error, maybe we should have been more thoughtful... I told him that if it was just a sex thing he should have said so. Even though in our conversations he said he wanted to settle down, His daughter was raised, his new job secure, time to get on with the rest of his life. We were on the same page in our lives.He sent me a text that went something like this. "Work called me in early, in ICU with inmate, phone was dead, forgot charger." OK so kill me now...

So now, yup I am in the dog house he will not speak to me, and wow, it is killing me. So what the fuck???? I thought I had all the damn answers... I will leave this one up to you and the all knowing readers. Any questions ask. Sorry so long, but I hate it when people do not put in enough info.

--Jane Doe #516


Dear Jane Doe #516,

Ronnie's Take:

A simple re-explanation of your actions. Text him or email him that you jumped the gun. You are a little new to the dating game again and let all kind of things run through your head. All the horror stories of your friends. Explain the chemistry you felt. Tell him no would like to start dating again with no expectations-- just casual and start over. Tell him you are learning and growing, so it would be great if he would give it another try.

--Ronnie
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Victor's Take:

You both sound like mature, honest people. So, BE HONEST....

Tell him you fucked him. That you overacted and that it was a mistake. If he likes you, he will forgive you. If the chemistry that you say is there, really is - then it should be a no-brainer for him. It would for me.

I think he probably thought you were overacting because of your recent breakup (i.e. - "she is lumping me in with all the bad men, etc."), and he took it personally. Pick up the phone and call his ass and apologize to him.

Sounds like a good thing - go fight for it.

--V.
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Eddie's Take:

Let him know that you had a bit of a defense up as a result of some of the assholes you dated in the past. You guys sound like two mature people that have been through their own difficult journeys. It seems like you had such a great connection, and, perhaps, you came across a bit crazy when you couldn't get in touch with him. That must have scared him. You need to get a face-to-face with him again. Try to have dinner or coffee with him, so you can look him in the eyes and open up to him. Don't go for drinks, and don't do it at his or your house, because that will only lead to sex, and you have to iron this out before you go there. Sex would only be a false fix. Just talk to him, and be honest. Let him know you screwed up.

You can make this work.

--Eddie
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