Guy # 1, or Guy # 2?

Dear Ask 3 Guys,

What is a girl to do? This is the problem-- I have been seeing this man for about 2 months now, and I really do like him very much, but he is not very aggressive-- meaning he just thinks I know what is going on inside of him. Example... the other night, I went to a friend's house, and he just assumed I was coming over, but the thing is he never invited me, so I didn't go over. I met this new man a few days later, and I did tell this new man that I was still seeing the other man-- I was very much up front, but the other guy has no clue. So my question to you is should I tell the other guy about this new guy? I like them both very much. I don't want to deceive anyone, but this man has never asked me If I was dating anyone else. Just trying to leave my options open. I am a very mature woman, and I don't want to hurt anyone. What should I do?

--Two for Tuesday
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Dear T4T,

Ronnie's Take:

It really comes down to a personal decision. I personally see no future with a person that doesn't have good communication skills. It also seems he lacks in passion(life passion, not sexual) some. They seem to go hand and hand.
I wouldn't volunteer the info, but I wouldn't lie if questioned. Men and woman break up and move on rather often these days. It's not the end of the world either way.

--Ronnie
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Victor's Take:


I am a big fan of honesty to a fault. I get myself in trouble for being too honest, but I'm ok with that type of trouble. I have lost out on some "opportunities" in my life for being too honest. That's just the way I live, I'm not changing.

I think you need to do what you think is best. Clearly, this is troubling you, so telling the truth might be best. I also think that there are many women and men that might withhold all the facts / be somewhat coy about the EXACT truth. It has happen to me, on two separate occasions. One time, I started to open my heart to someone I was very close to (not something I do very easily), all the time telling ALL the truth. This women was dating at least two other guys at the same time over the period of a few weeks to months, that I knew nothing about. When it all came into light (which I had to figure out, still not knowing the truth), I didn't feel to good about it.
On another occasion, I again started to fall for someone, again being honest about all the ongoing things in my life. Over a two month period, this person was having a long distance relationship - even visiting once or twice this person in another state. Again, I didn't feel good about it.

Did either of these people intentionally hurt me, or outright lie to me? NO.
Did they withhold the truth and place yet another little ding in my heart - absolutely. I was open and honest on my hand, I just naturally expected the same in return. My mistake, it won't happen again...

I hope this gives you some insight into the direction you need to take.

I wish you all the best.

--Victor
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--Eddie's Take:

This is something that frustrates me so much. People always keep secrets, and guy # 1 will always be the last one to know what is going on. For God's sake... tell the guy what is going on. You can never expect a relationship to work if it is being supported by a dishonest foundation. You have to live with the choices that you make. Guy 1 or guy 2... it doesn't matter. All that matters is that you take ownership and stop dragging people along.

--Eddie
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