Too Confused over Two

Dear Ask 3 Guys,

I have been dating this guy for about three and a half months now. He is really great. He respects me, hears me out, and just has an overall fantastic personality. He is 2 years older than me. I really like this guy, and I don't want to end things with him anytime soon, but there is another person that I am friends with, that I am starting to develop feelings for who is also 2 years older than me. My bf knows we are just friends, but gets incredibly jealous when he sees me and my friend together. 2 of my friends have said that this guy likes me, they say they can tell, because he smiles when he sees me and when I'm around him he always has to touch my shoulder, arm, or back. I'm starting to see this myself. I want to be with him, but I REALLY do NOT want to end things with the guys I am currently with. I don't know what I should do.

--Too Confused
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Dear TC,

Victor's Take:

Ahhhh... the quintessential "The grass is greener on the other side conundrum"....

Knowing your exact age would help me to guide you in answering this question, under 25 / over 25 - I would have different advice.

Your boyfriend gets jealous because he senses - and accurately so - that you have feelings beyond friendship for your friend.

Although this won't be a popular answer, I'm rolling with this:

You never mentioned you loved or were in love with your boyfriend. Also, I'm also going to assume that you are under 25, I'm guessing 20. Based on those observations & assumptions, play the field. Break up with the boyfriend, after telling him the truth, and move on. I think you should stay single until you are 25, and not even think about marriage until 30. Again, I know
- not going to be a popular answer, but - it is what it is.

Your responsibility here, in my humble opinion, is to the TRUTH. You are already hiding things from your boyfriend - this is not fair to him. Not to mention, I'm sure it cannot be easy to walk around hiding the truth. It's time to fess up.

Or, you need to completely walk away from the "friend", cutoff all communication, and never look back - still telling the boyfriend the truth and explaining to him that from this point forward you are committed to making things work with him. Based on your question, I don't think you can do that. So, I'm going with Option A for you.

--Victor
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Ronnie's Take:

First, I will assume the current relationship is exclusive. You can't have your cake and eat it to. The good news is you only have a few months into the current relationship. Are you willing to risk losing the current bf for a chance with the new guy? You can try to explain to the current bf that you want to see other people and him also. You enjoy your time with him, but just aren't ready to rule out all other people. That could really mess up your current relationship. Use your heart. Make the best choice you can. Ultimately, it's just a feel thing with no right or wrong. Enjoy having two interesting guys interested in you. Communicate as best you can and always be honest, even when negative results can come from it. It will be worse later to explain out of a lie (I mean don't cheat on the current bf).

--Ronnie
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Eddie's Take:

I'm assuming that you are still a teenager, so don't beat yourself up over this. The best thing that you can do is to not concern yourself with the emotions of others when making a decision that is best for you. Don't worry about hurting the current guy's feelings if you want to be with someone else. If you were really into your current guy, you would not even be asking us this question. It sounds like the new guy is giving you positive attention, and, perhaps, he is filling a void that they current guy is incapable of filling. The bottom line is that you have to be happy with your decisions. Unfortunately, none of us can tell what the future holds.

Make your own decision... just be aware that you have to be able to deal with the consequences. There are no guarantees in life. So, just weight out your options, and hope for the best.

--Eddie
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