Boys, Boys, Boys...

Dear Ask 3 Guys,

So, I was with my boyfriend the other night, and we were talking, and his phone kept ringing and ringing. So, I asked him who it was and he said that it was no one, which made me mad, so I didn't talk to him. Then, he said it was just his ex girlfriend. I said WHAT THE HELL IS SHE CALLING FOR? He said man I don't know....but, that night, I was thinking something is suspicious, so I called him and asked him if he still had feelings for his ex. Of course he said no, but the next day I found out that he calls her all the time and he still likes her so I asked again "do you still like your ex?" Now, he said man i don't know...it made me so mad because I am in love with him, but why waste your time with someone that has feelings for there ex..it sucks, but I don't know what to do. I WANT HIM TO GET OVER HER, but i don't know if he ever will. I feel like nothing to him. I don't understand what I did wrong this time. It's like I'm a target to letting guys hurt me, because that's all that has happened to me lately, and I just want someone to care about me. I want someone to love me back. I want someone to be loyal to me. I just don't know whether I should end things with him or not. He says he wants me to stay, and that he loves me, but I don't know because every time I'm with him now I'm going to be thinking of him and his ex girlfriend getting back together.HELP!!

--Lost Girl
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Dear Lost Girl,

Ronnie's Take:

First, don't look to anyone else to complete you or make you happy. Learn to be secure in the person you are. Learn to realize you and many many other people get let down in relationships. It's not the end of the world. You will live and just like you fell in love again, you will again in the future. The ex thing is a deal breaker with me if his is lying about it and admits to still have feelings for her. Move on to number next. A liar is no one to build a relationship with.

--Ronnie
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Victor's Take:

"I WANT HIM TO GET OVER HER but I don't know if he ever will I"....

You seem like a young lady. So, I am going to give you two pieces of advice that I want you take away and use forever:

1) No woman EVER in the course of human history has changed a man. EVER. Men change when they want to change, not when a woman wants them too. Stop trying.

2) Don't even think about getting married until you are at least 30.

With that out of the way, this guy doesn't feel the same way about you that you do him. You deserve at least that. Move on and go get the next one.

Also, I have a feeling you attracting those types of men (hurting you) because you are trying too hard. Stop trying - let them come to you.

Have faith my dear; you have a ton of life to live still and many hearts to break...

--V.
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Eddie's Take:

Here's your problem... you are trying way to hard. If you allow yourself to be a target, then you will always be one. A vulnerable, weak girl is the worst thing that you could be. Be strong in who you are. This guy is one of many that you will meet throughout this journey of life. I'm sure that you have many more miles to go, so focus on the things that are important. Don't be a girl that thinks a guy makes her. Define yourself, walk with happiness and confidence, and you will see that guys will pursue you. Stop being so desperate. Don't be a victim. It's time for you to step up and be a strong woman.

--Eddie
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