Caught between friendship and a hard place

Dear Ask 3 Guys,

I have a guy friend with whom I am very close to. We've spent numerous occasions together, countless hours delving deep into our minds, bodies*, not to mention sharing and learning from each other.

As of now, being an item is not in question, but he is aware I have feelings for him..very valid and logical feelings. He's told me as well he feels the same, but it's just not happening.

About once a month he sends me packages in the mail, of things I ADORE; books, music, art, etc. AND, every man I suggest to him I might be interested in, he steers me clear of, "I am too good for them" will always be the reasoning.

We are simply good-close friends mind you, but I can't help but feel he's got hidden context or other motives.

What do you think? Would you treat someone this way if you were/weren't interested in them?

Or is he buttering me up and possibly just being selfish?

So confused over here.

TY in advance!

--Flummoxed

Dear Flummoxed,

Ronnie's Take:

Sounds like there is more to the story. His actions sounds like something a gay guy would do. Maybe even a married guy that just can't end the relationship. How well do you know him? Investigate some more. Push the envelope. Tell him you are thinking about getting serous with someone. Make him respond. If he doesn't, value his true friendship, and keeping looking for a Mr. right that wants you.

--Ronnie
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Victor's Take:

You say bodies*, but then you say no sex... I'm confused...

The guy has feelings for you. Why he has not moved things to the next level, I cannot be sure. Have you had sex with him?

It is time to stop beating around the bush and have the WTF conversation with him. Be nice, calm, even-keel emotionally and share with him "What is going on here?" Don't stop talking until you get an answer, even if it is one that you are not happy with.

Without more details, this is the best answer that I have.

V.
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--Eddie's Take:

Have you ever seen the movie Clueless? Well, here's a quote from Murray that sums it up-- "Your man Christian is a cake boy!"

Sounds to me like this guy is a certified homosexual (i.e. turd burglar, ass bandit, shit stabber, bone smoker, donut puncher, etc.).

If not, maybe he is just too scared to express his feelings towards you. If you appear "out of his league", hiding his feelings is a means of protecting the friendship. If you have had talks about being together, then that theory is out the window.

Here's my advice...

Give him the quick and dirty on what you want. Tell him that you are tired of being confused, you have deep feelings for him, and you would love to move forward with a relationship. (Take sort of a "shit or get off the pot" approach.) If he fails to move forward, then start dating! That's all you can do-- express yourself, and give him the opportunity to jump on it (no pun intended at all there).

Good Luck!

Let us know how it turns out.

--Eddie
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