My Ex-boyfriend

Dear Ask 3 Guys,

Three days ago, I broke up with my boyfriend TJ because he was just treating me badly. He's in the closet, big time. He was raised as one of those Jesus freaks, so it was hard on me anyway. I know I kind of ruined the relationship because after that heres what happened. I felt bad because I broke up with him spur of the moment, and he said he didn't want a relationship for a while. Well this was strange but I went along with it for a few hours, then I asked if he still felt the same. Since I did I thought it would be cute for him to say that. He then said that he has no love for me anymore. Well I thought that was crazy, so I got mad.. WAY mad. I told all of his friends he was gay (he's 19.. and not out >.>) including his room mate. They were all really cool with it, and I proved it to them. (pictures, information) So I talked to him that day about what I did. He then went on to say that god had made him straight. That in itself is the biggest crock of shit in the whole world. I think about it and I see where I went wrong, but I want to fix it! I was talking to his room mate about it last night and he said he would try to talk to TJ, but all TJ says to anyone is "I'm not gay!" So I'm not getting my hopes up.

I would like to have you guys set me a plan to get him back, I really want him back >.<.
He was my first for EVERYTHING, and even though I wasn't his first, and when I think about him with other people it makes me sick, I still care for him.. Can you please help me on what to do? He's one of the most important people in my life.


--Guy
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Dear Guy,

Victor's Take:

I imagine there was a time before you were “out” and kept your sexual preferences secret. How would you have felt if someone you knew, cared about, or even loved did the same thing to you? I’m guessing devastated.

There were already major roadblocks in your relationship with him – “Jesus Freak”, the fact he was not “out”. Remember, everything in life happens for a reason. Maybe, just maybe, that occurred here.

If you want to get back with him, I would recommend writing him a letter – for starters. Share with him the things you mentioned in your question. Be honest and open, be apologetic and vulnerable… most importantly, share with him how you really feel about him. See where it goes from there.

Good luck…

--Vic
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Ronnie's Take:

This is a reason so many people are stuck in bad relationships-- The fear of loss drives people to do strange things.

First, you complain how miserable you were with him. Then, all of a sudden, you can't live without him. You seem to be young. BREAK this behavior now. I promise you that you will meet somebody else that you think is great over a matter of time. He has too much baggage for a 19yr old. RUN from a relationship with him. Suck it up for a few weeks. You will miss him, and all the cute things he did. Keep him as a friend... ONLY if you would like.

This is all a great part of growing up.

--Ronnie
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Eddie's Take:

Guy, readers, people, world.... Get this through your heads... YOU CAN'T FORCE SOMEONE TO BE WITH YOU.

I just don't get it. You totally threw this guy under the bus by exposing his gay card. Coming out of the closet is a big step for gay people, and to have it exposed against their will is just not cool. Anyone in their right mind would be pissed at you.

Now he has to constantly defend his sexuality to his friends and family. Did you think that maybe he just wasn't ready to open that can?

Sounds like you may have dug too deep of a hole this time. All I can say is give it time. Let the smoke clear, then try to communicate with him.

If he's done with you, move on. Don't become a stalker.

--Eddie
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