I am banging a married woman!

Dear Ask 3 Guys,

I had been seeing a married woman…or, more accurately—she had been making a point of seeing me on and off for many years. I have always believed it wrong to have sex with married women but I would hook-up with her on the nights when I had been drinking when my sensibilities, including my integrity, were compromised.

Since then, I have made a heroic effort to avoid her with a good amount of success. The problem is that she has been calling me again lately after she found out I am newly out of a relationship. I considered that relationship exclusive and it gave me a sense of boundaries along with the incentive to resist the temptation.

Today, I am finding it very difficult to say no to her although I prefer to only express lustful desires in the context of a healthy relationship. She married for financial security and tells me that the sex is just not the same with her husband. And, she tells me that she doesn’t want to hurt her husband as I certainly don’t, but that he will never know anyway. She also tells me that “what you don’t know can’t hurt you”.

I do find her very sexually alluring and when my sex-drive is high, she has the uncanny ability to ask if she can come over. I would consider a relationship with her or at least a FWB, if she weren’t married.

My question is, under any circumstances, if I am completely honest with her, can I enjoy the fruits of this woman’s desires for me? And if not, what do you recommend as an alternative? Please no not tell me to pleasure myself as I have lost all interest in having a casual relationship with my right-hand and to be fair about it, my right-hand has also lost all interest in being used for meaningless sex.

Just curious what you Guys and your readers think about this?

Thanks.

--"JODY"
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Dear Jody,

Victor's Take:

Here is the problem: if you were married, what if your wife was doing this to you and you had no idea. How would you feel?

Look, I've been accused of being everything from a player, a pseudo player (a term so eloquently coined and explained by Melissa the Unwilling Raconteur, an excellent blogger), a pimp and everything in between. I like to date and I'm an expert at picking the wrong ones - so I stay single.
There are lines that I do not cross.

Unfortunately, I have slept with a married once before; it was not one of my finest hours. Much like you, lots of alcohol was involved and I had an insatiable woman on my hands that did everything but strip down in front of me at the bar. But, none of that made it right and all of it - just excuses.
Again, not my finest hour.

I would launch her. I would tell her, "No more". She needs to get her life together and "shit, or - get off of the pot". You are prolonging the problem of her horribly failed marriage. I know that may not be the answer you want to hear, but - it is the correct one.

Move forward and find a new FWB - there are lots of them out there.

--Victor
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Ronnie's Take:

You are not the reason for her marriage problems. Enjoy it for what it's worth. Her love and success of her marriage has no baring on your fling. It's not like your asking her to leave him, or you two are in love. Most people need good sex and deserve good sex-- your just filling in a hole(lol) in her life. Enjoy it. She sounds like a mature women who has put some thought into this. Do the right things in your relationships.

--Ronnie
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Eddie's Take:

So, you're the guy? The one that husbands across the globe can't stand. I understand that you have lustful desires, and, when I was single, I made idiotic choices as well. Now that I am married, I know that my behavior in the past was unacceptable. Why be the reason for someone's divorce. Imagine that you were this guy... coming home every day to a woman that just got banged by Joe Blow. Not cool. If you have any morals left, drop this relationship.

I could go on and on, but I won't. Everyone knows that I can get on my soapbox when talking about the bond of marriage.

Do us married guys a favor--- MOVE ON!!!!!

--Eddie