My Little Girl Thinks She is Bisexual

Dear Ask 3 Guys,

What are you supposed to tell your child when she tells you she is bi, but she has never had sex? (Although after my first sexual experience I didn't think it was all it was cracked up to be!) I have certainly told her I love her and accept her no matter what. I think she is looking for more than just those words from me. Can anyone help in this communication process with my sweet baby girl?! I let her know I am here for her always. Thanks

--Mother
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Dear Mother,

Ronnie's Take:

Support her, and let her know that expressing feelings is okay. Working life out takes time, and communication between you two is good. Tell her to be open and never label herself as bi or straight. Some of the most successful people in life are bi-sexual.

--Ronnie
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Victor's Take:

It sounds to me like you have done all of the right things so far - good job! You told her that you love her, communication seems good, you are there for her...

I have limited knowledge on this subject - sexual orientation and the growth/maturity of children. I suggest you go to your favorite bookstore or Amazon.com (or the library if you are on a budget) and read up about it. I would fathom that there are hundreds of books on the subject and for your daughter's sake - get educated on the subject and the proper ways of communicating it. Ultimately, I think this education will benefit the both of you tremendously.

I wish you nothing but the best.

--Victor
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Eddie's Take:

It is so easy for people to say that they accept people for who they are, but, as a parent, I suspect that hearing those words from your child would be slightly awkward. I've witnessed the evolution from denial to acceptance in many families where a child came out of the closet. I think sexuality is definitely a double-standard for many.

It seems that your daughter already has enough respect and trust for you to raise your awareness about this in the first place. I find that teenagers will do whatever they want to do anyway. If you lock her up, she will still figure out a way. I say just give her the space and freedom that she deserves. Let her experiment, and if she sides with both men and women, then that will be her choice. Studies show that teen bisexuality has rapidly grown in popularity among the current generation. The behavior is being perceived as a fad, or the in thing. Visit http://www.radicalparenting.com/2008/07/07/teen-trend-7-reasons-why-it%E2%80%99s-cool-to-pretend-to-be-bisexual/ to read more about this trend.

It may just be a phase to fit in.

Good luck, and support her no matter what.

--Eddie
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