Friends, Lovers, FWBs??? (But wait... he's married!)

Dear Ask 3 Guys,

I have met a guy that I so want to be with-- the issue is he is married. The upside is his wife approves of it..encourages it ...in her presence...the down side is she wants to join in. My issue is I have no desire to be with a woman at all. I knew all of this before I became interested in this guy. I tried to break it off and he understands and wants to be friends. He said he needs me and loves me, but understands my fears. He says I will be comfortable when I meet his wife in knowing she would be ok with us being together...we just click and have a connection like no other. He has been completely honest about the whole thing as I have been with him. What do I do?...run fast or have him as a wonderful friend and part time lover or ???

--Secret Lover
****************

Dear Secret Lover,

Ronnie's Take:

It comes down to your happiness. What situation can you handle and still be happy? This is very VERY weird but it's about you and what you can handle and are looking for in a relationship/life. I would run fast, but only you know your limits and what it takes to make you happy.

--Ronnie
***********

Victor's Take:

You are dating a married man. There's your problem.

I'm not judging, just stating the obvious.

Chances are, even if you consent to sleeping with the wife also to appease him, things are going fall apart in epic fashion. At least one of the three (if not all three) of you are going to let emotions get in the way of your seemingly perfect ménages a trios and it is all going to come crashing down all over you. That's sad because it sounds like fun, but that is only in theory and would don't live life theoretically.

Can you just allow him to be a friend with benefits or friend? I don't think so...

"I have met a guy that I so want to be with" - your words. You have already developed strong emotional feelings for him. The FWB thing is not going to work for you. Most people cannot be good friends with their exes. I find it easy, most people do not.

I would cut your losses and move on - quickly.

That's my take.

--Victor
**********

Eddie's Take:

Married couples that involve a third party in their intimacy typically go for someone that is not the type that would get attached. These relationships are usually just fun for couples, and neither person has a romantic relationship with the third person.

It sounds like this guy wants to live out some fantasies. If he wants you, why the hell is he with his wife? If you continue to down the FWB path, you are only setting yourself up to be hurt. It definitely sounds like you are unable to leave your emotions out of the game. You already seem like you are falling for the guy. If you continue screwing him, he will never have a reason to leave his wife. Tell him that you can't continue the relationship under these circumstances, and he can contact you when he gets his shit together. If he genuinely loves you, he'll walk away from her.

Don't play his game.

--Eddie
***********