How to turn a guy off...

Dear Ask 3 Guys,

How do you get a guy to not want to have sex with you after the first date, but wait until the 3rd date. What can I do to turn a guy off and not want to sleep with me after the first date? It happens all the time! (I know, the things I am complaining about, woe is me, LOL!)

Taking it Slow
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Dear Taking it Slow,

Ronnie's Take:

Say it with your words and action. Nothing more than light kissing. He slips a hand, you say "what kind of girl do you think I am?" It's easy to communicate-- yes, I'm interested, but no chance at sex yet with words and body language. Lastly get used to it. We are dogs, and we want sex 1st, 2nd, 3rd, 4th and so on dates. Not really much slows that down without being gross and losing a 2nd date chance.

--Ronnie

Victor's Take:

For most men - if you are giving, we are taking.

Thanks for your question.

Seriously, set some standards, be honest, and communicate. I never got upset with any woman I was on a date with (and I have been on a few) that said, "I don't kiss on the first date" or "It takes me a while to be intimate with someone". I was always ok with all of those answers and still am.

If every guy you date just wants to get in your pants on the first date, and that is their primary goal, I have a comment and a question for you:

1) Are you projecting that energy? (Hey, I want to have sex immediately). If you are and that's what you want / makes you happy, I'm completely ok with that and not judging. But, based on your question I think you are ready for a different direction.

2) Where are you meeting these guys that all want to have sex on the first date? Find a different place.

It's always ok to say no...

Good luck!

--Victor

Eddie's Take:

Your solution is simple. Avoid allowing the date to get into a situation that could set or suggest a theme for sex. This means, don't invite the guy back to your place after the date. If you end up in bed, even if it is just to "watch a movie", a guy is going to have other things on his mind. It is just in our nature. This is no different than someone that is trying to get off of drugs. Don't put yourself in a situation where there are drugs. If you avoid the situation, then you will not be tempted to give in.

So, talk to the guys to let them know you don't like to be intimate until you get to know someone. If you welcome them into your bedroom on the first or second date, or if you go into theirs, then you might as well show up in lingerie. If you are ready, then take it to that level. In the mean time, just keep the dates simple, and don't allow yourself to get in an alone, vulnerable situation.

I think you can do this.

--Eddie