Dear Ask 3 Guys,
I've been dating my boyfriend for about 4 years and 8 months. How can I get him to propose to me?
Wannabe Bride
****************
Dear Wannabe Bride,
Victor's Take:
You can't.
Thanks for your question.
Really, you could get him to propose, but what are you going to do? "Listen, if we don't get engaged I'm going to break up with you?" Or, "If you don't buy me a ring I'm going to stop sleeping with you?"
Do you really want to coerce a man into marrying you? Should he want to marry you for the right reasons and not because your forced him to?
There is an underlying issue here that you are not sharing. Solve that issue, solve the problem.
I know one thing. I would NEVER want to marry someone that felt like they were forced into it. EVER.
I hope it works out for you.
--Victor
Ronnie's Take:
I'm sure you two have talked about the future. If not, do so immediately. Getting engaged isn't everything. How do you feel about each other? Where are your future goals, and when does marriage fit into those plans? Communicate your feelings to get his side. Remember, the first sentence of an uncomfortable situation is the hardest. Practice it and get the communication going.
--Ronnie
Eddie's Take:
I think you should at least be having conversations about your expectations for the future. If you have been together that long, I am sure you have at least discussed the future. Have you told him that you want to be married in the future-- perhaps even by a certain age? Is he in school or doing anything that he wants to finish first? We had a similar question when we first started the site, but the boyfriend wanted to finish college first.
The bottom line here is that you cannot give him an ultimatum. Don't think putting your foot down is going to do anything. When the timing is right, just talk about things. Get him to tell you his plans, which, hopefully, will include you.
Some guys just take a while. I've known people that waited 5 years before proposing. Some guys just ask when they are ready.
Be subtle, but ask him if he sees you two being married in the future. See where that takes you.
Good luck.
--Eddie
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