I kissed my gay friend and I liked it

Dear Ask 3 Guys,

First, I'll give you some background information. I am 17, and I recently broke up with my boyfriend of 18 months, we are still in love, but now he is depressed and drinking alot, so we've agreed to not get back together until he sorts himself out. He has promised me that he would not
hook up with any girls, and I promised I would not hook up with any guys. I was at a small party at a friends house the other night, after taking ecstasy. Me and the girl whose house it was were dirty dancing, and then we ended up making out. That was not really a big deal, kissing girls,
whatever, but then we ran outside saying "OMG OMG WE JUST KISSED!!" to a gay, male friend of ours. He jumped up and started yelling "OMG OMG OMG I WANNA KISS YOU!" We kissed, my ex was there, but he didn't care, he thought it was hilarious. We were all really messed up, and he is gay, so I thought nothing of it. Then, later everyone started going to bed. There were about 10 people staying in this 2-bedroom house that night, so we were all sharing beds and sleeping in mattresses on the floor. I ended up sharing a bed with my gay friend, who had come down off the pills completely by this time, and he leaned in and kissed me. We made out for quite a while, and then I started giggling and asked him "isn't this weird for you?" and he said "no, not at all." and then kept kissing me. I asked him what was going through his mind-- he said "honestly, a million and one things" I was still a bit high and not tired at all, so I kept on asking "are you still awake? are you still awake?" and he was laying there stroking my hair whispering "even if I fall asleep, I'm still here with you..." I have just been in shock, he is pretty much your stereotypical gay guy, there is NO WAY I could see him ever being into a girl, EVER. What the hell is going on? Also, I feel bad about kissing him. I know the first one was ok with my ex, he just thought it was funny because he was gay, however the kiss in the bed was a LOT different and I feel like I have crossed the line. I kinda want to tell my ex, but I have no idea how he will react, and I am worried that it will ruin my chances with getting back together with him,
but it's killing me to keep it in, I feel extremely guilty. My head is just spinning at the moment, I'm still trying to process what happened aha!

Um, yeah... HELP?

Gay Friend Frencher
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Dear GFF,

Eddie's Take:

Okay, the part when you said you two just happen to end up sharing the same mattress. That is a load of horse crap. You knew what you were doing. If you were only on E, then you still had a functioning state of mind. You liked the kiss, and you knew that it would continue if you shared the same bed with him. I just think that you have to take some ownership in what happened. Unless you combined several drugs, perhaps even taken G, there's no way that you were not in control. Besides, if that were the case, you would have no recollection of what happened-- yet, you do. Sounds like you got caught up in having a good time, now you feel guilty.

What can you do? Your ex knows you kissed the guy, so he is going to deal with one kiss or ten kisses the same way. If he didn't care, then you have a chance.

Finally, this gay guy is apparently not 100% gay. His normal behavior could just be a front, but it sounds like he was into you at the moment. Maybe he is bi-sexual. You need to talk to him to see where his head is with all of this too.

We live, we learn. Hopefully, you learned that adding drugs to the mix doesn't always yield the expected results. Try to be a bit smarter in the future.

--Eddie
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Victor's Take:

Ok, there are a few of issues here.

First, I would tell your ex. I am all about the honesty and besides, living your life in guilt it no way to live. Plus, you crossed the line.

Second, I know gay guys that are still attracted to and occasionally have sex with women. It happens all the time. Additionally, I'm assuming Mr. Gay Guy is around your age (17). He may still be in the midst of exploring his sexuality.

Finally, not to be a major kill joy but - when you are 17, you are going to make poor decisions that you might potentially regret. Add drugs or excessive alcohol use to the mix, and you will DEFINITELY put yourself in positions to make decisions that you can never take back and will regret for the rest of your life. You have a ton of life to live - be careful and try and make responsible choices.

--Victor
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Ronnie:

The effects of "x" will last for many hrs and has clearly been known to even last for days. It was first used as a marriage counseling drug so its draws you closer to the people you are around. I would chalk it up to a drug induced experience. You had no intentions of cheating. You seem to be just getting comfort with a friend. Not a big deal, no need to carry it any farther. "On break" in a relationship is always tough.

--Ronnie
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