Disappearing Act

Dear Ask 3 Guys,

What makes guys just disappear? Especially after he just told you that you were the only woman for him and that he loves you and always has.

--MIA
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Dear MIA,

Ronnie's Take:

It's hard to see which guys are sincere and which are just after sex (we lie for sex). Review whats makes you choose a guy and where you are meeting them. Many guys are good guys, but some are bad. If this is a recurring problem, then maybe it's time to look at yourself. Are you getting clingy, do you talk too much (most do and this drives me away), too flirty with other guys, etc. Only you can evaluate your behavior. Don't give up, but a relationship doesn't have anything to do with your happiness or success in life. Be comfortable with who you are, and the rest usually falls in place.

--Ronnie
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Victor's Take:

Guys tell women what they want to hear for one reason: because it works.

I have a friend that is dating a guy; they have been going out for 3-4 weeks now. Two weeks into it, he's calling her "baby" and "honey" and telling her things like "I miss you". After 4 weeks?? Come on...

I always tell women - trust your instincts. If in one sentence he's telling you he loves you, and in the next he saying "goodbye" two things have occurred:

One, he got what he wanted.
Two, aren't you really better off without him? Do you really want someone like that in your life?

If a guy is telling you he loves you on the third date, my advice to you is simple: RUN!

--Victor
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Eddie's Take:

I don't understand why women have such a hard time understanding guys. A guy is going to be everything you want him to be in the beginning. It's like dressing nice for a job interview or something. In the courting stage, a man wants you to think that he is the best thing that could have ever happened to you. Just like with a job, sometimes the real character, performance, or work ethic isn't seen in an employee until after they get settled in. I have interviewed people that blew me away, but it was all an act. A few months later, they turned out to be horrible employees. So, just know that some guys will talk the talk, but never walk the walk.

If this happens to you often, try not putting too much into their words in the beginning of the relationship. Base everything off of their actions. Look for similar signs that remind you of guys that disappeared.

As for as your specific case, the guy has moved on to something else. I seriously doubt that it is truthfully anything to do with work, or whatever excuse he may give you. When guys leave like this, it doesn't totally close the chapter on the relationship. They figure they can call you with some lame excuse, then you may let him back in-- even if it is just for a booty call. All you can do is decide not to tolerate bull crap like this. Be strong and stand your ground. Don't be fooled by anyone.

Good luck.

--Eddie
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