How can I get closer to her?

Dear Ask 3 Guys,

I read all of your blogs and what you say to people about their problems. My problem is not as big. As in every man's life, there's that girl. Now, I really like this girl I go to school with. I asked her out to homecoming in August/September. Well, she said yes at first, but changed her mind because she just got a new bf. So, being the respectful guy I am; I backed off. Now, (6 months later) she is single again. I want to ask her out,but I'm not entirely sure how. She has been showing signs of being nicer and getting closer. My problem is that I'm not that good looking and she's the girl all the guys want. How do I go into getting closer to her? How do I get her to say yes?

A-M
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Dear A-M

Ronnie's Take:

The age old question. The unapproachable girl for us average joes. Vic is the master of this. He is fearless when it comes to this. Guess what-- Vic gets turned down a lot. He is 5 ft nothing 100 and nothing as he says. It's like baseball-- 3 out of 10 say yes. Guess what 10 out of 10 say no that you don't ask. Carry yourself with confidence when you approach her. Assume the sale-- just say "I heard you are single now so we can get together for _______ "-- fill in whatever you want to do with her. Rejection does feel bad, and I have felt it a few times, but the pain and frustration of never taking the chance remains with you for a long time. Practice the 1st sentence because that is always the toughest part of a nervous question. As Nike says "just do it"!

--Ronnie
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Victor's Take:

Ask her out!

Here is my question. How long has she been single for? If it has been less than two months, be careful. You don't want to be the rebound relationship, especially if you feel like she is special.

She said yes once already, right? What makes you think she will not say yes once again?

Looks are not everything. I'm 5' nothing, a 100 and nothing pounds my friend. I look like David Spade. My friends call me the "White Urkel" sometimes... LOL!! Have confidence in yourself.

Take your time. Don't worry about "making her like you". Just be yourself.

A few tips:

1) Listen actively. Let her talk and listen.
2) Look into her eyes when speaking with her.
3) Have faith in yourself and what you have to offer.
4) Focus on your strengths and play to them.
5) Go read the 10 things that every guy should know at www.ask3guys.com

Please, follow up with us! I want to know how it work out.

Good luck!

--Victor
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Eddie's Take:

To start, here's a few quotes from Michael Jordan. Now, they aren't about relationships, but it works:

1. "I can accept failure, everyone fails at something. But I can't accept not trying. "

2. "I've failed over and over and over again in my life and that is why I succeed. "

3. "I've missed more than 9000 shots in my career. I've lost almost 300 games. 26 times, I've been trusted to take the game winning shot and missed. I've failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed."

4. I've never been afraid to fail."

I love number three. Jordan is definitely a basketball great, but he understands that mistakes are inevitable. Not trying is the real failure.

So, lace up your shoes, and get out on the court. Don't ever think you are not good looking enough, or not the right guy. You are who you want to be.

For this girl, I would just try to start hanging out with her. Apparently, the two of you are friends, so work on spending more time with her. Maybe see if she wants to go do something... maybe you have an extra concert ticket or something. Just be yourself and be confident. If you are nervous and timid, you will only hurt your chances. Go in knowing that you are being yourself, and, if it doesn't work out, at least you tried.

Dating is like interviewing applicants for a job. Sometimes you have to see a few before you find the right fit.

You'll be okay.

--Eddie
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