I'm I too much of a guy?

Dear Ask 3 Guys,

I am a single young woman living here in the great City of New Orleans... I have a rather different outlook on life than what I have been taught by my parents and Society... I get along better with guys than I do women. That is just the way that I am... I believe that women and men can be just friends... Some tend to disbelieve this theory... So I am looked at as a "Whore" instead of a woman who likes sports and four wheelers and muscle cars instead of shopping and talking about weddings and what my husband is going to look like... I get perceived as a "wild woman" who enjoys dancing on bars (No I do not take off any clothing) and taking shots and funneling beer and playing poker and smoking a cigar every now and again... Don't get me wrong, I get my nails done and my hair is always fixed... I dress like a woman... I am not a dike in any way... I just enjoy what society has set aside for the boys... I believe that women are allowed to enjoy these things along with the male sex and not be perceived as a"Whore"... I am told that is what it was like when I was a teenager and I need to grow up and actually be a woman who talks about recipes and what I am going to wear on my wedding day that may never come about... I just don't enjoy those kinds of subjects... I mean yes I do like bridal showers and baby showers and Tupperware parties, and things that are considered for women, but I don't sleep around with these guys or anything like that I just enjoy their company... So I guess here is my question... Does being able to hang with the boys make me a whore and does that give other males the right to talk down to me and treat me with anything but respect and does that give women the right to look down on me?

--One of the Guys
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Dear OG,

Ronnie's Take:

No, it doesn't and people who judge you are just uncomfortable with your abilities as a human to do what you enjoy. You will have a problem if you are dating because trust is an issue for a lot of people that have been cheated on in the past. Most men feel that hanging with guys all the time is like playing with fire. Even if you trust, it's an uncomfortable feeling. It is very possible to have guy/girl just friend relationships. I have had many over my life time with no sexual thoughts. Guess what-- the people in the corner always whispered about the relationships. Negative drama people will be just that. I don't have the time or patience for them and neither should you.

--Ronnie
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Victor's Take:

"So I am looked at as a "Whore" instead of a woman who likes sports and four wheelers and muscle cars instead of shopping and talking about weddings and what my husband is going to look like... I get perceived as a "wild woman" who enjoys dancing on bars (No I do not take off any clothing) and taking shots and funneling beer and playing poker and smoking a cigar every now and again..."

Here is my question: are you a whore? I'm guessing no.

Are you a "wild woman" (whatever that means). Personally, I like my women on the wild side every now and then. My point is this: if we stopped worrying so much about what other people think about us, as a society we would be 95% happier. I let go of worry - what other people thought about me - a long time ago. You should try it.

Let me get on my soapbox for a second. I cannot get over how hard women are on each other sometimes about the silliest crap! Men don't treat each other like that. Anyway, there is my tangent - two cent moment, take it or leave it.

No one should be looked down upon for following their happiness. Respect is not freely given, it is often earned. But, if you are respecting others'
decisions, why shouldn't they respect yours?

As long as you are happy and you are not hurting anyone else, I say - do what you want. Have friends in your life that judge you? Find new friends.

Mignon McLaughlin, a famous American journalist, once wrote " Every society honors its live conformists and its dead troublemakers."

I'd rather be a dead troublemaker.

In my experience, conformists are never happy.

--Victor
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Eddie's Take:

Here's the deal... people that force themselves to fit in the boxes that society has defined for them are just flat out miserable. The bottom line is that they hate the fact that you can be yourself, without any concern for what people think. So what if you are into guy things. There are many guys that will think that is a great trait for you to have.

No matter what package you are in, people are going to judge you. Hot women always get stereotyped as being bitches, big-breasted blondes are labeled as airheads, and guys that take care of themselves are now considered metro. It's all bullshit.

As people, we constantly put people in categories based on our historical data. For our own comfort, we have to be able to know what category they fit in. If the are a square peg in a round hole, it confused people, so they start making their own assumptions.

Just keep doing what you are doing. The snotty bitches will just have to get over it.

--Eddie
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